“You can't be happy unless you're unhappy sometimes".” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

I recently got into a small altercation of sorts over my personal happiness and a friend reacting to how she perceived me and in turn, how I reacted to how she reacted....ya, see the shit storm brewing? Damn

You'd think I was a child with my social skills, I do not do well on the fly. I always look back and thing, I should have said this...I should have done this...I shouldn't have let it bother me.

I was hurt by her words, I am still hurt, I don't do well with hurt.
I refused to speak with her about it, when she asked. Not because I didn't want to, but be cause I wasn't ready for what she was going to say.
I didn't understand how she could say I was a sad person, that I looked angry and unhappy.

I had to think on it. I had to write about it. I had to say to myself anything she could possibly say to avoid hurt. Something I'm sure she wouldn't intentionally do, but I'm a sensitive nitwit and things effect me.

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I liked this quote...and the one I posted above. I like them because I've lived them.

I lived an unhappy life, I was miserable in my late teens, early twenties. MISERABLE.

I worked my ass off to fix it, I had to fix me. I had to choose to change my thinking and focus on all the good in my life. I had some amazing people come into my life and push me forward when I needed it, because there were moments that I wasn't sure the pain of fighting through the sadness was worth it. It was.
I also had some people come into my life that wanted to take me out at the knees, they tried damn hard. I made it through, bruised but I made it. Gotta keep moving forward, live and learn,
"You can't be happy unless you're unhappy sometimes"

So since I was miserable *in all caps* before, that means I am capable of experiencing HAPPINESS, right?

F-word yes!

I have nothing in my life to be unhappy about, yes I have challenges, we all do. Right? Riiight??

It is safe to say those life challenges distract me from pleasantries or smiling all the time. I frown when I'm focused.  There have been many times that I get so lost in my own head that I look pissed off.

I don't feel unhappy, I am not unhappy, but I appear unhappy, and that upsets people.
I must fix this.