“Don't try to steer the river.” ― Deepak Chopra

Don't try to steer the river. Don't. Try. To. Steer. The. River.
Hmmm, I like it. I might use it. (On my kids of course)
Because all useful tidbits of information I gain I pass on to my Minis, like my dad did for me.

 "Goddammit Elaine, I'm not here because it's fun, I'm doing this because I want you to have more, to be better that I am. I work my ass off for you, all of this *arms open looking around* is for you. I don't need a nice house, I don't need acreage, this is for you. Learn and don't be a smartass." -he had a way with words, didn't he?

Ha! I was as receptive to my fathers rants, as I guess my Mini Me is to mine. Little Buddy still humors me, snuggles up and says he understands, kisses me, tells me he loves me and that I'm his most beautiful momma ever. A for effort buddy. You will be a good man.

Don't try to steer the river.  It reminds me of trying to herd cats or slamming a revolving door. Or to be gentle, not force things into the way you think they should go, but let them be what they are, who they are.

So what does that mean, above I said "You will be a good man." How will he be? By my influence, Blondie's influence? I can't really see the other choices, maybe he won't be. Maybe he is destined to do to his kids what his father did to him, what his father's father did to him. Maybe he will choose to idolize the man who has chosen to be in his life, chosen to be a dad, when he didn't have to be. He wanted to.

Don't try to steer the river?

Can we guide it? Show this river (Little Buddy) a better way? Provide him with the tools to change his own course? Then can he steer it?

This isn't exactly the direction I was planning on heading with this bit of rambling, but I like where I'm going. My brain is moving, thoughts are rolling around, ideas screaming to get out. Maybe I'll have a revelation, maybe I will help you have a revelation...

Don't try to steer the river... 

I am certainly not going to make my Minis be something they are not, but hopefully by nurturing them and raising them in a good environment, with good roll models, structure and rules,  We can help guide the stream before it becomes a river.

I mean, shit happens. You can't control every aspect in life. Heck, Mini Me goes to middle school and experiences things I never dreamed of seeing at the age she is. But she tells me about it, looks to me for approval that she did the right thing by confiding in me. I hope I'm guiding her stream to make good decisions for her, guiding her to be true to who she is and who she wants to be, my cautious, fun loving stream.

Little Buddy isn't there yet, we don't have the talks about what he sees, he is innocent still. Yes he will tell me about who does what in class, but it's his friends breaking crayons and flushing paper towels that gets him bothered and upset. He means well and is good, caring and sweet. But he's also my fast moving stream, Little Buddy is the small hole in a hose that has all the pressure of the full hose behind it. Waiting, yearning, needing to get out and learn, explore, do, see, take apart, put together, go go go go go go. He's the stream that has the potential to flood, run off course, break the banks, not on purpose, not because he sets out to, he is the stream that just happens.

You might not be able to "steer the river", but you can guide a stream...and that's what I'm doing.
Guiding the streams of my Mini Me and Little Buddy.
Providing them with the best tools to become the best people they can be.


So I will take what my father said, put my little spin on it, (well even more than it already has) and end with this.

Mini Me, Little Buddy,

I'm not doing this because it's fun, I'm doing this because I want to.
I'm doing this because I love you, both of you. Equally, differently, fantastically.
I am doing this to show you that life is better than you could ever imagine, but you have to work for it.
I am tough on you because the world is tough, and that's OK because you can handle it, you both can.
I might not do everything right, heck I know I make mistakes, and you will too. That is OK, keep trying.
You will never fail until you give up.
Be true to yourself, honest with your word and treat everyone with respect and kindness.
Lastly, be confident. There is no such thing as can't. You Can.

Flow my little streams. :)

xoxo
Momma